Think about what you did right this year

Published by Lori Pickert on December 31, 2012 at 10:57 AM

I have a thing about goals, so I really like the New Year. I like the beginning of all the seasons. When things change over, it feels like a reboot. You can stop, reassess, make new plans, and so forth.

Onward!

The problem with resolutions is that they so often don’t pan out. It takes significant effort to really make a lasting change in your life. And failing again and again can make you feel like just giving up. Being inspired is nice, but action is tough.

But change really is possible. The way we go about it is often a waste of time and more harmful than helpful.

Don’t just think about what you don’t like about your life. Think about what you DO like — then figure out how to have more of it. Think about what’s working and how you can make that happen more often. Put your attention and focus on the thing you want to see more of. Feed your successes.

Think about smaller steps. It’s difficult to completely change from bad to good, but it’s possible to slowly build new habits. If you focus on one small thing at a time, failure will only send you bumping down one step instead of a whole flight of stairs.

Focus on positive goals, not negative goals. Instead of “stop,” “don’t,” and “no,” create goals that say “try,” “do,” and “prioritize.” Embrace the people, habits, and things that create good in your life. Adding more of them will automatically create less of what works against you.

The first step is believing that you can make the life that you want. If you want your children to build that life for themselves, you must believe that you can do it, too. If they see you living the life you want, they will know they can do it, too.

Posts about Goals and Resolutions:

Goals, goals, goals: Expectations vs. reality (Princess Bride edition)

Resolutions get a bad rap (The 5 resolutions that work for *everyone*)

Four ways to make a change — “The parts of your life that you value most deserve most of your attention and effort.” Believe it!

8 comments

Comment by Monise Seward on December 31, 2012 at 01:33 PM

I agree with everything you wrote! To me, it seems as though resolutions set many people up for failure and disappointment. I chose to start writing goals two years ago and it has made a huge difference.

Here is to more of the positive in 2013!

Monise

Comment by Lori Pickert on December 31, 2012 at 02:31 PM

yes! :D and happy new year to you & your family, monise! hope 2013 is wonderful!

Comment by Wendy on December 31, 2012 at 09:19 PM

REALLY appreciate these ideas; thank you, and Happy New Year!

Comment by Lori Pickert on January 1, 2013 at 09:04 AM

hi wendy, and thank YOU! happy new year! :)

Comment by dawn suzette on January 1, 2013 at 04:36 AM

This is a wonderful post Lori. I just wrote up goals a few days ago. They are so very positive!
Thanks for all your words & links of wisdom!
Happy Positive Baby Steps of 2013!!

Comment by Lori Pickert on January 1, 2013 at 09:05 AM

yay! :) thank you so much, dawn — i hope you have a fantastic 2013!

Comment by Heather L Caliri on January 1, 2013 at 10:38 AM

This is such a key step to all the good things in my life right now, and is so completely neglected in school. How can you learn without knowing what is important to you, or where you are headed? I love being able to instill this kind of power in my kids so early--before they know anything else.

Comment by Lori Pickert on January 1, 2013 at 03:53 PM

 

well, school tends to focus on children’s deficits, for one thing — whatever is going well, they figure is under control, and they focus on improving the area that’s lacking!

if we could have more meaningful experiences earlier in life (i am watching my children have them *now*), then we could chart our course by what works for us — what we do well, what we have to offer, what feeds us, what makes us feel happy and at peace and in the flow.

thank you for your comment, heather — good luck with your adventures in 2013! it’s going to be exciting! :D

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