Open thread

cristina, i hope the quote helps! :^) i got As in math but still did poorly on the placement exam. so i majored in english literature. :^)

i love this quote because really, we're never done, and we never reach the end, in working with children or in life. we're just entering another phase. things fall apart, and then they come together. bringing them back together gives us something to do. :^)

thanks, susan. bet it does. :^)

LOVE your twain quote — one i hadn't seen before! :^D) and so, so true. mm, maybe i'll go to the library and write that inside the front covers of all the "what your X grader needs to know". ;^)

thank you, hayley. :^)

i'm curious whether your son is a "young 2" or an older 2. does he show interest in your daughter's project work? is he included when you draw/paint/etc.?

i would recommend having him do the same things at his own speed and level of interest *if he wants to*. if he wants to play and is happy entertaining himself, it is wonderful that he is in the same area, being exposed to the kind of work his older sister is doing and the way the two of you talk about that work. play is work, after all. :^) and i'm sure part of what your daughter is doing for her "work" is play as well.

it is a wonderful thing for younger children to simply be in an environment where older children are happily working on something they care about, playing, building, drawing, painting, etc., and talking and sharing about what they are doing.

they can learn to respect the process, and as they are interested and able, they can begin to do the same kind of work and share it in the same way. if they learn early to respect the work of others (say, not reaching over to paint on someone else's painting :), it sends a message that their *own* work is equally important. there are many lessons and values that they simply absorb from being in a family culture that celebrates learning and doing.

re: starting a project with him, you can certainly support his interests and create space for him to explore them fully. just try to keep your expectations modest. but definitely devote time to observing his play and make notes in your journal (if you are journaling :) about how he learns/reacts to provocations/etc.

thank you for your great question — i hope this helps! please let me know how things are going. :)

thank you, christine! and you just commented, so there you go. :^)

elizabeth, project learning is, by definition, learning that is instigated and managed by the child, growing out of her own passionate interests. so maybe not there. :^)

however, i agree with you completely re: wanting to pass along those life skills regardless of whether your daughter is terribly interested or not! :^) i do think it's easier to pass along those skills if it is in the spirit of love and mentoring and done with a sense of family warmth and fun. learning to cook, do laundry, keep a clean home, garden, take care of pets, manage money, drive, budget, do shopping, nurse the sick, care for elderly family members, etc. etc.

i also agree with you that off-the-rack education can be severely wanting, not only in things you personally find it worthwhile to know, but in things the general public *needs* to know .. like diet and health .. like personal finance.

hs'ing allows you to craft a one-off curriculum based on your own family values, and personally i believe children respond strongly to hearing their parents say "this is important .. that's why i'm teaching it to you" when it comes to those life skills. my sons are always saying they won't leave home until they know how to cook all their favorite dishes. ;^)

naomi, yes, we looove our airstream. it's a '73. :^) ours has two twin beds in the center and a double bed up front. there is a bunk-bed model but it's pretty rare .. lots of people make their own bunks, though!

i hope you find the perfect camper for you! we mostly travel now in our vintage vw van .. it allows us to be more nimble. :^)

deirdre, loooove the g.k. quote.

niente senza goia .. nothing without joy .. but also .. there is more to life than school! flunking out of school doesn't mean you are worthless, as so many smart and famous people have proved. seems like a happy life should be the number one thing we want for our children and making use of one's intelligence/abilities is a part of that, but not the whole.

i think your instinct re: your oldest son is right .. he is in a stage. he is madly soaking things up; at some point he will begin to create again. it is tricky parenting these children who just won't stop growing and changing, even when we think we've gotten a handle on things at last. :^)

my oldest son has repeatedly turned away from things he once loved, saying he doesn't like that/do that anymore -- sketching (no!), hiking (no!!), just *being outside* (nooo!!!). :^) but i can happily report that he eventually went back to all of them .. in his own time. i think we have to let them decide who they are and what they care about, as they figure it out themselves .. and trust that their essential selves will win out. we have to want to know who they are more than we want to decide who they are, right? and many of us are, after all, still figuring out who we are. :^)

darn it, this process takes a lot of trust. ah well. :^)

i think you're right, anne, that family *values* transfer, even when specific skills don't (for instance, if you don't really remember how to can tomatoes, but you remember canning with your mother and grandmother). when you pick up some skills as an adult, the memories that come back may be rich with inherited *meaning* rather than specific memorized steps.

i think elizabeth was remarking mostly on the fact that she herself didn't get exposed to those basic life skills when she was growing up. (elizabeth, feel free to correct me. :)

i do think just being *around* the activities matters. i, for one, wouldn't force my boys to help me can tomatoes. i hated being forced to weed the garden when i was growing up, and it made me stay away from something i love for a long time, because it was tainted with so many bad memories. i try to introduce them to things without making them a chore. later in life, if they become gardeners, they will hopefully remember the enjoyable times we had together in the garden, even if they need to look up how to pinch back tomatoes!

oh my gosh, i hated the fabric store, too. lolol

it's funny to me how much family in our society has turned around in the last 30 years. when i was a kid, everything was centered around the adults and the kids just tagged along or got pushed outside to play. now everything is reversed, and most family life centers around the kids and their activities. interesting.