You are the best predictor of your child’s future life

Published by Lori Pickert on December 3, 2012 at 04:37 PM


The best way to increase the odds that your child will live a certain way is to live that way yourself. The best way to raise readers is to read. The best way to raise doers is to do.

The best way to raise active, engaged learners is to be an active, engaged learner. Project-Based Homeschooling: Mentoring Self-Directed Learners

Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting. In terms of teaching our children to dare greatly in the “never enough” culture, the question isn’t so much “Are you parenting the right way?” as it is: “Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?” — Brené Brown, Daring Greatly

Are you nurturing the traits within yourself that you want your children to have?

Also see: PBH for Grown-Ups


Comment by patraq on December 4, 2012 at 02:11 PM

This post should be a plaque. So inspiring. I love it!

Comment by Lori Pickert on December 4, 2012 at 03:02 PM

thank you!

Comment by Julianna on December 4, 2012 at 08:50 PM

That's a little too much pressure. I don't want my kid to be like me, I want her to be herself.

Comment by Lori Pickert on December 5, 2012 at 08:41 AM


but think of it this way — how are you sending that message to your daughter? “i want you to be yourself. you are great just the way you are.”

probably the best way you can get that message across — the most meaningful, sincere way — is to love her exactly how she is *and to love yourself exactly as you are*. no matter what you *say* to her, how you live your life is going to really drive home your true feelings. if you tell her she is beautiful but you hate the way you look .. if you tell her she can do anything but you are afraid to take risks .. how *you* live *your* life is going to affect her much, much more than anything else.

it is a little bit of pressure. :) it’s so much easier to read parenting books and decorate bedrooms and sign kids up for lessons than it is to turn and focus on ourselves and how we feel and how we live and what we struggle with. but i do believe it’s true — how we live affects how they will live more than any of those other things.

Comment by Tijana on January 6, 2015 at 01:06 AM

Yes, what you say is so true! My mom raised me to believe in myself, stand up for myself, be who I am, be the best I can, etc etc. BUT she never was those things for herself. I always yearned for her to be a strong role model for me.

Comment by stephanie thoma... on December 4, 2012 at 08:59 PM

I find this to be so true! As an artist I had somewhat resigned myself to not being a bread winner, and I was fine with that for the most part. But then one day my son remarked that if Dad died, "we would be screwed." When I asked him what he meant he replied, "no offense, mom, but you don't make a lot of money." That's when I realized that it really was important for me to pursue my career, so that I could demonstrate to my creative children that creativity is a valid career path. I want them to have that choice, and I don't want to perpetuate that starving artist myth! Also I felt like it was important for them both, but especially my daughter, to see that women could be great mothers with successful careers, that there are ways to find balance and fulfillment in this regard.

Post new comment